FOotbAll madness
What would you do if your husband/boyfriend/spouse/partner etc said these things to u ??!!
DEar wife/girlfriend/darling/dear…
1.From June 9 to July 9 2006, you should read the sports section so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup and that way you will be able to join in the conversations.If you fail to do this,then you will be looked at in a bad way or you will be totally ignored.DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times without ANY exeptions..
3. If you have to pass by in front of the tv during a game, i dont mind.AS LONG AS you do it crawling on the floor without distracting me.If u decide to stand nude in front of the tv, make sure uu put clothes on right after that becoz if u catch a cold,i wont have time to take u to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games i will be blind, deaf and mute unless i require a refill of my drink or something to eat.You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the phone or even pick our baby that just fell on the floor..it wont happen.
5.If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over,its only a game". If you say these things, it will only make me angrier and i will love u less.Remember, you will never know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a breakup.
6. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can only talk to me during half-time but only when the commercials are on and if only the half time scores pleases me.In addition, please note that i am saying "one" game , hence do not use the World Cup as an excuse to "spend time together" ..
7.The replays of the goals are very important , i dont care if i have seen them or i havent seen them. I want to see them again.Many times.
8. Tell your friends NOT to have any baby or any other child-related parties or gatherings that require my attendance or attention because :
(a) i will not go
(b) i will not go , and
(c) i will not go.
9. BUt if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
10. The daily WOrld Cup highlights shown on TV every night are just as important as the games themselves.DO not even think about saying "but you have already seen this…why dont u change the channel to something we can all watch?" because pls refer to rule #2 and #7.
Thank you for your co-operation - sign your husband/boyfriend/spouse..
What wud u do? for me, i would probably make him read every single word to me out loud while twirling our wedding/engangement ring on my finger..and see whether he still wants to carry on with his "rules"..ahahaha 
