KitKat baby

Its 7th July 2007 !!! so Happy O7O7O7

Its time to get wild …

Heheh..woke up LATE today..reli late..havnt woken up dat late before for a very long time now..yaya i know..thousands of you have that daily routine.. =p so anyways..ayupe..gotta lot of calls n msges along the way though wanted to meet up with sarah for a walk at 9.30am ..she called arn almost 8am n wanted to go earlier.. not that i didnt want to but…wat shud i do when my head seems so heavy n so dead to function ??!! so we didnt meet up in the end.. Then got more news update from nicole and adrian..both also didnt get to meet up…*here comes the big news* =)

I finally opened my eyes..it was 11.30am …phew! im still half-sleepy-dead..suppose to meetup with tim for lunch..so i msged him..no reply..gosh..two opinion of mine #1 he is still in the meeting or #2 he is driving ON THE WAY HERE!!! so i decided just get up n bathe larr..i did..apparently..i took extra long to bath today and my BEST FRIEND decided to visit me on this extraordinary day..gawwshh..

Anyways..felt like wearing a dress today..nothing fancy..so i borrowed my sister’s "maternity" dress…haha it really made me look like im pregnant lor..not that i’m not..but..haha ..then wanted to go off to the bank to get some cash then i heard the door bell rang.. shuxx he’s early for oncE! ehehe..then neways..off we are..to OU.. Shogun!! the buffet was good..lotsa variety but sadly i was cramming all morning so not much that cud go in..but i still had my fair share of sushi..tempura..tempanyaki…soft shell crab..and dessert ! gosh..stuffing myself first thing in the morning is SO NOT ME.There..something wild done

Then we decided to drive up to genting !! or more like i decided to..so off we were..driving up was fun!! but very scary as SOMEONE tried to speed at the curves…but finally couldnt at one point!! haha he was flooring the accelerator but the car was still below 20km/h .. haha imagine that..i was laughing my head off!! yay..we reached genting arn 3pm…had a hard time finding parking tho.. didnt know so many ppl decided to come up to genting today.. it wasnt as cold as i thought it wud be lar..did not even use our jackets the whole time! this shows global warming is getting worst!!! well, we didnt sit on any rides..but we walked all arn the area..alot. cam whore a lil then sat down in front of genting hotel to just chilll…=D took off arn 5pm as tim has some family gathering..reached home arn 6pm+..helped lynn to cook as she did my laundry this morning then straight to bed!! slept for an hour..woke up arn 8pm..still so tired but i just had to bath!! (EwwW) i know..so i bath bath bath.. told dad n mum that i wont be eating dinner..im still SO full! yes,i really am..dats the funny thing abt me..i cant just stuff myself with food the first thing when i wake up..i just cant..if not..like this la.. no need to eat for the rest of the day..funny belly i have so ya.. its early bedtime for me..quite tiring but indeed a fun day!! Thank you God … time is ticking..one more week !

*pictures are in my profile*

David Beddingfield (edited version)

If you’re not the One , then why does my hand fit yours this way

If you’re not the One, then why does your heart return my call

If you are not mine, would i have the strength to stand at all ?

Never know what the future brings, but you are here with me now.. we’ll make it through and i hope you’re the one i share my life with

I dont wanna run away, but i can’t take it, i dont understand..

If we’re not made for each other..then why do we still feel this way?

Is there a way..that i could stay in your arms, forever?

If i dont need you, then why am i crying here ..on my bed?

If i dont need you, then why does your name resounds in my head ?

If i dont need you, then why does the distance we’re about to face seems to be like a life n death situation ?

If you’re not for me, then why do i dream of you as my husband ?

I just hope..hope in faith that you’re the one i share my life with.. and i pray you’re the one i build my home with..because i love you, i want to love you all my life timothy cheang.. coz i really miss you and it really tears me up inside..whether its wrong or right and that we can’t be with each other tonight, or tomorrow or the days after, you know very well that my heart is always by yours, only yours.

=)

the last thing i want to here is ‘i told you so’ or ‘noooooooo’ …

………………………………………………………………………..

i know..YA *screams aloud* im 18..i have alot more to come my way..i get that..why make a choice NOW? for heaven’s sake, you’re going overseas n u already closed up the door to your heart ??!! HELOOOOOO what kind of question is that people?

Yea, i do know..theres alot more in store for me..i know i will me meeting more people, new faces, personality and style..BUt as long as i am here..as long as i can stand on my own two feet i have my say..i want my relationship now, my relationship with tim to head to marriage, i really do want to give my everything to him..he is a real great guy! a great guy so much as i believe i wont be able to find another..yes..im that sure! and whats wrong with that? whats wrong with having my own fairy tale, having it at my own time? after all, all fairy tales end up happily ever after.. other guys? new faces? let those worry for themselves when the time comes, as for me i wont let go of what i have now.Its the best thing that happens to me so far..in fact, he is my life-changing partner..n i mean changing for the better! i’ve grown more than ever..im not saying that if i had been with my friends all along i would never grow.. no..but i would not have experience love, romance, patience, kindness, faithfulness and so much more!

fairy tale..yes..what happens when your lil fairy tale seems to be a nightmare..a horror scene..a thriller..even for a nite..it hurts.. bad..what happens when you feel that numb feeling inside? how long more will it take to ‘recover’ ? i want to be ‘mad’ again.. mad over my love…somehow..i just prefer to be alone..i dont want to tell this to my friends because (refer to line one) ..n recently i’ve been dying to go to college..as i thought that this feeling i have can be avoided..that i wont have to deal with it..yes i know, i admit i am an ‘avoider’ but i just feel so sad..u know..i love tim..i need him i want to need him..gawsh..im being as honest as i never thought i could be with him..to tell him each n every feeling thats inside of me..every move that irritates me..but sumhow..i can tell he’s thinking of how bad he is..n dats not true..i may have my mood swings now..i can assure myself..it is due to my period..but why do i get more irritated easily at him?! im cheerfully happy with my family n friends n i want to be with him too..im just feeling, knowing that it would take a lifetime to clear things up with him after all this ‘nonsense’ is over..i would not even be surprise if he ‘loves me less’ or lose affection over me ..

God so help me now..i may not have been leaning on You as much as i should have…and i know i may not be as understanding as tim thought i am..but i still do have a heart dear Lord to fight and hold on..and im not sure how long more i can.. Only You know whats best for me, for us..heal my ache and bless our time apart.Amen.